Judging & Comparing Yourself? Stop it!

Okay, I have wanted to blog on this particular topic for a while, I just never had the time.  Teachers, stop judging others and most importantly stop judging yourself.  Seriously, stop it right now.  We have enough people doing that. 

So often I encounter educators who are exhausted from teaching students with behavioral exceptionalities and extreme academic deficiencies.   These teachers beat themselves up for wanting a change of scenery.  My advice to anyone reading this is to stop it, DO NOT feel guilty for wanting a break.  You are not GOD, you did no come here to save every single person, and contrary to popular belief you can’t. <-----Whoop there it is!  The goal for you as a teacher is to do your best; I place emphasis on your.   So what if Mary Jane has been teaching in a challenging environment (no parental support, fights, disrespectful students, several students below grade level, etc.) for ten years and you are tired after two.  You are not Mary Jane. Do not feel guilty and do not let anyone make you feel guilty for not wanting to teach in that setting anymore.  Pat yourself on the back for what you have contributed. Never feel guilty for taking care of you. If you are not at your best you cannot be your best for anyone else.

A disservice will be done if you remain in a setting that you no longer want to be in; your learners will be cheated and so will you.  Many teachers are suffering from high blood pressure and anxiety due to the demands of being a teacher.  Teachers you (we) are a limited resource, we need a rest, we need a break and there is no need to feel guilty.  Go to the school that gives you peace with no regrets.

I have worked in settings in which teachers would quit.  They would admonish themselves and were also admonished by others.  I felt that was unfair.  What’s for me is not for you and vice versa. I have a firm personality; I say what I mean and mean what I say.  

I am going to share with you all three stories.  The first one is from a teacher that attended a workshop I did this summer.  This teacher shared with me how she worked at a "challenging" school and was drained from it and how excited she was about her new school.  She was glowing, and that is what ALL teachers should do, GLOW.   I think she worked only one year, maybe two in that setting. Anywho (yes I said anywho, get off my blog spell checking etc., this is my place of peace LOL) she told me how hurtful it was when her colleagues "judged" her for taking a position at a school minus those challenges.  I just wanted to hug her.  She also shared with me how she wished she had met me earlier because maybe should would not have been so burnt out. Her story made me reflect back on my experience.  Two years in a row my team member quit on me. Yes, each year I had to work with subs.  Will I say they were bad teachers? Nope, not at all; it was a challenging environment. It was an environment that was not for everyone.  Challenging environments need positive yet realistic people. Challenging environments need teachers who glow, when you no longer glow, you NEED to go.  Awe look I made a rhyme.  

On to stories two and three.  The first year my team member went on leave, she expressed that she could not deal with the level of disrespect. I understood her situation.  Many said negative things about her, I never did. I knew she was a good teacher, just not good for that setting. I was right.  The following year she came back and taught 1^st grade versus 5^th, all of her first graders could read and write a paragraph. Her students were the highest compared to the other teachers. WOW! You hear me. 

That same year while my former team member flourished in 1^st grade my new team member was sinking in 5^th and eventually had to leave due to high blood pressure.  Again she was judged. I’ll say this,  that setting was not for her.  I believe she would have been a great lower elementary teacher. I can so see her being amazing in 2^nd grade. I also think science is a subject she would be great at teaching. She could teach science honey.  She was extremely emotional telling me she hated to quit but had to, it was just not working.  I told her point blank that she has to take care of her, that this did not make her a failure.  I was honest and told her that, that setting did not bring out her potential and no, she was not good at it. LOL ! We laughed, but I also truthfully told her, that her calling was with little people and teaching science.  She has the potential to get young minds excited about science.  In the same breath I told her I could never do little people, no way. I would not make it in a Pre-K-2^nd setting, shoot maybe third; fourth and fifth allows me to be AWESOME SAUCE!!! LOL!! 

I say all this to say, you must recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing what you are not good at allows you to make better choices.  Mrs. Byrd is hands down the best Pre-K teacher ever. I could never do what she does with those babies. NEVER. LOL.  I stay in my lane and I do what is best for me, this allows me to be the best for my learners.  I do not compare myself to anyone, not even myself. We are allowed the right to change, the right to fail, the right to redeem ourselves, and the right to be happy. 

In summary teaching at a low performing school is not for every teacher, dealing with helicopter moms is not either. I’m just saying.  Teach in the setting you desire, you owe no one an explanation and you certainly should not feel guilty about the place you choose to teach.  Teach in the environment that you can be effective, healthy, and happy.  *Hugs*

Ms. Ebony, M.A.T.